Updates, Work, & Love Life.....or lack thereof......

Man, it's hard to believe that we are almost through May! Where on earth has the time gone?! Well, this month has already seen a lot of ups and downs. On the plus, I got to take pictures for the WAC Track Championships held here at our UVU campus! It was pretty hard seeing that the day was long and physically draining. Also, my brother (Kaden) is extremely close to submitting his mission papers! I started working full time at Boostability, tried a summer class and quit the first day because it was so difficult. Saw my first huge paycheck from working full time and am completely satisfied. We said goodbye to a roommate that moved and welcomed the RA that's replacing me. There have been so many great and new people moving into our ward and I will be sad to leave them in August. I'm trying to workout more and become the best that I can be. And......Kaden graduates high school next week!! How crazy is that?!

Because I have a lot of friends that ask about this: Dating in Utah County, is still....hard. Whether you try to date members or non-members. I'm only 20 and if I had a dime for every time someone from back home asked me if I was dating anyone yet, I'd be rich. I've gone on many dates, but haven't "clicked" with someone enough that we saw more of each other.

I've learned a lot over the past few months of dating though. (Isn't it amazing the things you learn when you live on your own and make decisions for yourself?) You know that list we all made when we were younger? The list of traits we want in a future spouse or girl/boy friend? Yea, the one I still look at frequently. Well, I've learned that you can find someone with all of those traits, and yet you still wouldn't be truly happy with them and it may not work out. Instead, it's better to have a few basic qualities that are a must and then be open to all the others. Like, a few of mine that I have chosen are: 1) Must be a worthy priesthood holder and honors that privilege 2) Wants to get married in the temple and have a family. 3) Has completed or is working towards some form of higher education  4) Is financially stable, responsible, and debt free (except for student loans. Those are understandable) 5) Is willing to treat me as his equal and be my partner in crime for eternity. Dating in general is hard and it's not always going to be easy. It's important to stick to your values and what you believe to be right/true. The person you end up dating and marrying shouldn't make you feel like you have to compromise that belief system.

Along with dating and such, I had a pretty eye opening experience this past month worth sharing. Anyone who knows me, can tell you that I am a very religious person and I stand up for what I believe in, no matter what situation I may be in. It's never been hard for me to do. Well, there was this guy that I was trying to see and possibly date seriously, but I had a feeling it may not work because he is not LDS. He told me numerous times that he wanted to date a Mormon girl and convert. I would simply say to him each time that he needed to convert for himself and not for the girl because that relationship would be destined to fail. After spending numerous hours together that amounted to a week, someone had to talk about the elephant in the room. It was he who brought it up. He proceeded to tell me that night how much he liked me and wanted to make things work, but he wanted me to go home and think about it to make sure that it was what I wanted. Who was he kidding?! I did want it to work out! Or did I....? I didn't even seem to know. After talking with my roommate that night for about two hours, we decided that he wasn't the one for me and it would be best if we didn't pursue each other.  That was the plan. The next morning, I texted him and told him that I did want to be with him. To make sure we were clear when talking to eachother, we decided to talk about it in person. He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to be with me and how I'm a special girl and he wants things to work and yet again he told me that he wants to date a Mormon girl and convert, which I yet again proceeded to tell him that he has to convert for the right reasons. He then cut me off and rudely replied, "I don't want to hear any of your Mormon doctrine... you really are crazy" At that moment, I was beginning to loose interest. How could he speak like that to me. Before I could defend myself he continued to tell me that "You need to learn that there is much more to life than religion and God." I knew at that very moment that things weren't going to work out and that I needed to say one more thing before letting him go. He stood up to hug me and I pushed him away and replied, "Not for me. Religion and God is my life. My religion explains why I am living life here." I knew with everything in my being that I deserved so much better than what he had to offer. The last thing that he said to me was "You are never going to get anywhere in life with that attitude." As I watched him walk off, I wasn't mad. I didn't cry. Instead, I was sad for him. He used my religion as an excuse not to date me and couldn't see that I was trying to be open and understanding of him. While silently, he couldn't stand that I know exactly what I want/deserve from someone. Our paths have crossed a few times since then and it's been a little bit weird. I still care to be friends with him because I genuinely care about how he is doing.

If this post ever reaches him, I would want him to know that I do care for him and that I had the best time whenever I was with him because my insecurities seemed to go away. I'm not perfect, and I know that. I don't always say things eloquently, but I hope one day he can see and understand where I was coming from. I hope that one day he will find the gospel for himself and then he can see why it makes me so happy. I told him one of the first days we spent time together that I would want to help someone convert so that they can feel the same happiness I feel from the gospel and all of the blessings I have received. I hope that if you for some reason can't seem to believe what I do, I hope that you will come to respect me for the values and belief system I have. You don't need to agree with me, but I would ask that you would respect me as I respected you. And I hope one day you will find that special girl that will complete your life. Maybe, and just maybe, we could reconnect again.

It's been quite the month already and I know that there are many more lessons I will be learning with the connections I make with people on a daily basis. I'll keep ya'll updated with kaden and when he gets his call, my summer adventures, and the random life lessons I tend to learn ALL the time. Stick to your guns and never accept less than you deserve. Until next,

-Linsey

What Tinder Taught Me

It all started out with my roommate and I sitting in our living room one August night, bored out of our minds. We were sick of going to the hot tub, watching movies, going out to eat, or even just talking with one another. As we contemplated what we should do for the night, she asked me if I had heard of an app called "Tinder". She went on to explain to me that it was some sort of dating app that you can swipe right or left to people. After a few minutes of talking about how weird the concept was, we both turned on our phones and downloaded the app. We created a profile with a catchy tagline and cute photos. It started off with us just laughing at the weird looking guys, what pictures they had, and gushing over really attractive guys. Downloading the app began as a joke. 10 months later, it's not so much a joke anymore.

I've learned a lot about this app and using it for dating in the past ten months. I still use it on a daily basis and for dating reasons. I don't get asked out by guys at school or even in my ward. I don't often have guys make a pass at me, but this way, I've met so many more guys and have gone on so many more dates than if I wasn't on it. So, what have I learned? Well, here it is:

~Everyone has a "type" | meaning you like certain physical attributes and features of others. I always thought I was pretty open minded. False. I tend to like and "swipe" to blonde hair with blue eyes. Not always, but often.

~When it comes to this app, we are all very shallow | I used to read every tagline, but now I've found myself just swiping. If I think he's physically attractive, I like him. Shallow.... I know....

~There isn't an easy way to start a conversation with a complete stranger | honestly, a simple "hey" or "how are you doing" goes much farther than trying to drop a pick up line. Trust me. Boys/Men, consider actually looking at the girl's tagline and ask her questions about it. Spark conversation.

~If there are two guys in the main photo, chances are that the actual guy is going to be less attractive | been there, learned that. Swipe at your own discretion.

~Girls, if a guy messages you late at night, he's probably only wanting a hookup | use your common sense and listen to your instincts.

~You can meet someone from Tinder, and they wont kill you | people think that this app is really really sketchy, which, it can be. I've met 9 guys in those ten months and only 2 of the 9 were bad news, and I am still in contact with 4 of them.

~It seems like every guy in Utah County loves hitting the gym or being outdoors

~Guys, just because my profile says I love sports and I'm the athletic photographer for UVU, doesn't mean I have a rocking body or that I'll be your gym buddy, sorry | if I had a penny for every time a guy asked me how often I workout, I'd be rich.

~Tinder is an automatic ego boost | don't believe me? just wait until you "match" with someone...and he's very attractive. Even on my worst days, I feel better for a few seconds when I see a new notification.

~Tinder taught me to take chances | I met with guys I normally wouldn't give myself a chance with because I thought they were way too attractive for me. I also learned how to trust myself and if I felt comfortable with people and situations.

~Some of the guys you meet can become close friends | many of the guys I went on dates with were wonderful, but something was missing. So we often didn't want to pursue each other to date. Instead, we still kept in contact, texted, messaged, saw each other in person and established a friendship. These boys are some that I've gone to if I need dating advice or someone to talk to and visa versa.

~Tinder can be what you make of it | if you are looking for a hookup, you'll be finding all of the guys that just want to make out. If you are looking to date and possibly meet someone, then you will find them. It's the way that you portray yourself on your profile and the way that you talk with your matches on the app. Be smart with what details you post and be aware of the persona you are putting out there.

I think that Tinder is both a great thing and an evil thing. It's much like the internet. You can use it for good, or use it for evil. I know of couples that met on Tinder and I recently had a friend who just got married to a man she met on the app and they are some of the happiest people I know!

-Linsey

I am Capable of More

Have you ever been asked the question "What quality do you like most about yourself?" For years, my response would be "My eyes", "my smile", or even "my personality". But I think after talking with my brother and thinking to myself, I believe that my answer has changed. I now want to be able to tell people that what I love about myself is my ability to "love unconditionally and connect with people" on a much deeper level than others can.

This week has been a long/hard struggle with balancing work, school, and my social life and I just needed to talk with my brother. He is my greatest confidant and I go to him whenever I am unsure of myself, need reassurance, advice, and just someone to listen to me. ( I don't know what I am going to do when he leaves on his mission ) Well, I called him last night asking his advice on a situation that I was caught up in and I felt insecure and unsure of what I thought or felt. He abruptly stopped my muttering and said to me "Linsey, you are capable of more than you can imagine. You love people for who they are and not what they have done. Not everyone can do that. You need to be there for people regardless of their situation." After I stopped and thought about it for a moment, I realized that he was correct. I do connect with people on a deeper level than most and I am able to relate to some of the things that we discuss. I've been bullied, made fun of, and at times felt that I am not worthy of anyone's love. I know what that feels like, and I can't imagine going all the way back to the hopeless feelings such as those. I also have an understanding that people are not perfect and I have no place to judge, that is our Heavenly Father's job, not ours. I may not know everything about every topic of church doctrine or even about life, but I have to rely on my faith and know that I what I am doing and how I am living is correct. Until I return with him someday, I have to rely on my unchanging faith. 

I shared something with my roommate the other night that I find is very fascinating about me and here it is... I honestly have no idea why I was supposed to go to Utah Valley University. I never had a desire to live in Utah County and I despised this place for the first few months that I lived here. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to go to Utah State University just like my parents. However, my senior year, we were at UVU for the state wrestling tournament and as I was walking around campus during one of the breaks, I had and undeniable feeling come to me that would not go away for the remainder of the tournament. The feeling/thought was "This is where you are supposed to go to school. Begin your registration." Once I knew that the thought wasn't just random but was an answer to many prayers, I broke down and cried in the middle of the hallway. I never wanted to come to school here. I didn't want to move to Provo. I wanted to live in Logan just like my parents. 

However, after living here during my second year, I have a really good idea of why I am here. I have met so many wonderful and colorful people here that I would have never have had the opportunity of meeting back in Clinton. I have had experiences here that I couldn't have had anywhere else. Even after wanting to serve a mission and praying about it multiple times and receiving the answer "not yet", I know that right now, my "mission" is to touch the lives of people here in Orem that others may not be able to reach. Also, by helping these people, I am strengthening my testimony and learning to rely on my own faith. In the past year and a half of living on my own, I've learned so much about myself and that I can do hard things. I've loved and lost, I've dealt with hard roommates, I became less active and found my way back, I've provided for myself, and I've learned how to love myself again and have never felt so sure of who I am and whose I am. 

I know that I am a daughter of a royal birthright and that I am capable of many things. I know that certain people are placed in our lives for a season or for the remainder of our earthly life for a reason. I know that I have talents that I may not know I have and I know that the talents I do have can be strengthened. I know that in this earthly life, we were given trials to overcome and with the help of our Father in Heaven, we can do so! How great will be the day when we return to Him and in His loving embrace he says "Well done. I'm proud of you." I cannot wait for that day. This gospel is true and I know it!! Have a happy Sunday everyone!

'till next

-Linsey 

It's been some time

It's been a while since I last posted. This semester just got crazy and a little out of hand. I switched my major again since the last time I wrote, but this time I'm sure it will stay. I've decided to become a communications major with an emphasis in public relations. I love people and building friendships, so what better way to educate myself than to get a degree in something I love!! I'm also still working three jobs in order to pay for my living here away from home. One of them involves me being employed by UVU and planning programs for the complex I am currently at. I love it! And yes, I am still the athletic photographer. 

Last semester, I learned a lot. A lot about myself, the gospel, what I am capable of, what I need to work on, and I also learned how to love. 

About myself, what can I say? I've come a full 180 degrees. This time las year, I was a less active member in my ward and was ready to move home. I needed a friend to reach out to me and reassure me that everything was going to be alright. It wasn't until I decided that I needed to go to church again for me and not because someone invited me. It all started with me deciding to go to our ward prayer for the first time, by myself. I remember sitting among other members in the ward and just feeling the love they had for one another. As I sat by myself, a member of the bishopric came up to me and asked my name and if I was new to the ward. I was mortified that he didn't know who I was and that I had not been active enough for him to know that I had been in the ward for five months. That's when I realized that I wasn't the same person I was when I first moved away to college. I knew things had to change. I began going to every church event I could, both so I could meet people and also so I could feel the Spirit so I could take the peaceful feeling with me as I entered my chaotic and demeaning apartment atmosphere. I soon became the ward prayer chair person and never missed a ward prayer, even if I had visited home, I would go back just for the prayer. I then got called as a relief society instructor. That for me, is honestly one of the most enjoyed callings I have served in. I guess what I am trying to get at, is I've changed a lot spiritually. However, I was talking with a young man today about why Sunday is my favorite day. And I told him " I get to recharge and think about what I can do differently the coming week that I didn't do the previous week". He wanted me to tell him what exactly helps me recharge, and I had to think about it, I still do, so when I have a more elaborate answer, I'll let y'all know. 

This semester I also learned a lot about love and how to love somebody. Yes, I do mean in the lovey-dovey way, but I also mean loving someone as Christ does. Let me start with the latter. I've recently worked really hard to look past things about people that may bother me and to see them as they truly are and treating them as I would like to be treated. I found that as I did this, I was much happier and pleased with not only my social life and how I was able to relate with so many different people, but I was happier and more confident with myself. I felt that by loving others, I was able to better love myself. Now, for the lovey part. Growing up, my friends would make fun of me for being too "boy crazy", and trust me, I think a lot of guys were cute. But I never knew what it was like to love somebody until a guy came into my life. Sure I said I "loved" the kid I kissed on the cheek in the first grade, or I "loved" the cute guy in middle school, or that I "loved" the kid from my home ward who I thought I was someday going to marry, or that I even "loved" a friend I'm writing as he's on his mission. After my experience with this last guy, that's when I really learned how to love, even if it was for only a month or two. One thing I learned was that love will find you when you least expect it. Up until this guy asked me out on a date, I hadn't been on a date for two years. I was nervous, but as we met up at the cafe, lets be real, I was still nervous. We ordered our food and sat down to talk. I learned so much about him and his life back home in Europe. And then the next thing I knew, we had been there for three hours and it was starting to get dark out. I had another  date planned, and I called the other guy and asked for a rain check because I was having so much fun with the guy I was sitting across from. We went back to my apt and hung out until midnight looking up things on the Internet and on YouTube to show each other "weird" things about our countries. At the end of the night, he gave me a hug, no kiss, nothing. And I was astonished. Astonished because he was so respectful of me. In the days to come we would see each other again and watch both Pride and Prejudice and West Side Story together. He exemplifies qualities that I look for in a guy. Respectful, honest, trustworthy, looked past my flaws, and loved me in all of my awkwardness. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that this wouldn't last, even if I thought we could make it work. One, he was leaving to go back to Europe after the end of the semester and two, he is not LDS and I didn't and still do not plan on marrying outside of the covenant. I know that while he was here he read the Book of Mormon and he was taking missionary discussions. I only hope that one day, he will find that the church is true and he will get to experience all the blessings that the gospel has brought into my life. I guess I understand the phrase "it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". As hard as it was the first few weeks, I'm glad I had the experience because I now have a better idea of how I deserve to be treated and the kind of man that I do want in my life. 

Man, this has been quite possibly the longest blog entry I've ever written. I have more thoughts, but I don't believe y'all could read much longer, so ill try and keep y'all updated with all the new things I am experiencing and the new friends I continue to make. Now, to entertain you with some photos!! 

'Till next

-Linsey 

I've got a pretty rocking roommate :) cyd and I at the multi stake Halloween dance

I got to work with some amazing people 

I took a drawing class and survived with a B+

I learned how to FaceTime with my favorite people! 

I'm in love with my family/brothers and am so grateful I know that I can be with them for eternity. I grow to love and appreciate them more and more each day. 

Lets be real, I have the best roommates!!

I got into the REC program at UVU and am thrilled to begin a new adventure. 

And most importantly, I've grown to love myself, who I am, what I look like, my capabilities, and even my flaws. I've learned to love myself and am beginning to see me the way that others do and the way that my Heavenly Father sees me.