Love is in Action

Now before I go on my little tangent and tell ya'll my feelings about the title above, let me give you all a little update with pictures!!

 So we started the week off right by going to Applebee's on Tuesday for Karaoke Night! We had a blast and Dakota even got up and sang with our waiter Wes! I love it when we all are able to get together and have fun!

 Then on Wednesday, I was in my Interpersonal Communications class, we learned about self esteem and seeing ourselves in a positive light. On the left we were to wright flaws about ourselves that we see and even some names or things that people have said to us. Then, on the right we were to write positive things about ourselves. At first it was hard to find positive things to write, but then it got a lot easier and I was able to see that I am awesome and I am worth it and that I am capable of much more than I could imagine.

 Then on Friday, I was able to attend an info session at the Church Office Building in Salt Lake for an internship that I am applying for during the summer. It was really neat to think that I could work in the same building as the Prophet!! Anyway, keep me in your prayers because I would really love this internship and it would pay me while gaining great skills that will help me in the future. Plus, I would get to work in a really great environment.

 And of course, if you are at Temple Square, you have to take a picture by the temple!! (I'm going there someday by the way) And since I hadn't met up with my mom yet, it had to be a selfie (sorry)!!

 Sooooo while I was there I got to meet up with my mom and two of my brothers!! Oh how I love them and it was amazing to see them!! Ah! They make me homesick sometimes!

 And today, I got to hang out with my old roommates to watch the Super Bowel! It was so fun to hang out with them and catch up! This beaut is Emily and she was the one I actually shared a room with. Bless her heart, she was able to put up with me for a whole year.

 This picture isn't from this week, but allow me to introduce you all to Shane! He is the other photographer for UVU! He is pretty much the coolest/nicest guy you will ever meet!!

And lastly, here is the beginnings to a package that I am sending to one of my closest friends that is on a mission and is almost to his year mark! It's crazy how time flies by!!



Now, for the good part: Last Sunday while we were sitting in Sacrament Meeting, Erica (my roommate) leaned over to me and showed me her phone and said "You have to read this talk". I gave it a glance and didn't think about it again until today. I asked her what it was called and she pulled it up on her phone and let me read it during one of our meetings. After reading it, I thought how it would make a wonderful blog topic, so Ta-Da!! I give to you the inspiration for my blog post today: The talk was given by Marvin J Ashton in 1975 and it is titled "Love Takes Time" and I suggest you read it! I'm not going to go over a lot of the talk, but some of my favorite parts and how it has recently applied to my life. You can read the talk by going to this website http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1975/10/love-takes-time?lang=eng  .
So, have ya'll heard of the five love languages? Well, if not, it's how a person expresses their love for other people. The five languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. For me, my love languages in order are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and receiving gifts. By reviewing these five we learn that love is more than a hug or a kiss or words of affirmation: it is much more than that. During the duration of the talk, this is exactly what Marvin J Ashton is getting at and the two main principles that I took away from it were "Love is in Action" and "Love takes time", whether that be love for a friend, a family member, a member of the ward, anyone you come across, and even in a romantic relationship.

"Real love takes time, patience, help, and continuing performance" -Marvin J Ashton

Earlier this week, I came in contact with a young man that shared a lot of interests with me! We began to talk everyday and at a regular basis throughout the day. After a numerous days of talking with one another and developing a "friendship" I found myself beginning to "like" him, I mean he was LDS, a returned missionary, almost finished with school, attractive, witty and seemingly respectful. We ended up hanging out this weekend three consecutive days in a row and I felt that we had a lot of fun together! I feel that I can be my goofy, loud and obnoxious self when I was around him. I felt comfortable in my own skin and confident in myself and who I am, which is a big deal because I haven't really felt like that in a long time. Sure, I said the same thing in the last few blog posts, but this guy helped me see that it's okay to be weird and different than everyone else around. This weekend I was just floored with how respectful he was of me and how genuine he was in conversation and his actions. After seeing him for numerous hours the first two days, I got the opportunity to talk with my cousin on Saturday morning about him and she said exactly this to me, "He sounds wonderful, perfect almost. Keep seeing him and see where things could lead. However, be patient and don't rush into things. Don't ruin the friendship you have with him." As I pined over her words, part of me was like well if he likes me as much as I think I like him, why take things slow? And the other part of me agreed with her and could see her logic with taking things slowly.
So Saturday afternoon, I got the pleasure of seeing this guy for the third day in a row and we were able to talk about our concerns with one another. We were able to be clear and open when we both described our feelings for one another (seeing that they were very similar) and deciding that we are going to be friends first and that we want to take our romantic relationship slowly. When we came up with this compromise, part of me was really sad because I'm one to rush into things and I would completely want to be in a relationship with him! But as I drove home and thought about it, I genuinely like him as a friend and enjoy being with him. He makes me laugh and I want him in my life regardless if it is as a friend/or in a romantic relationship. (Although we all know how I hope it turns out). But this weekend, I surely learned that a relationship takes time and patience whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship.

"Love of God takes time. Love of family takes time. Love of country takes time. Love of neighbor takes time. Love of companion takes time. Love in courtship takes time. Love of self takes time."
 -Marvin J Ashton

As you can see from the quote above, any kind of love takes time. But more specifically, I would like to talk about the last one: love of self. I feel that as a kid, I had really high self esteem and accepted myself for who I was. However, that surely faded by the time I hit 6th grade. I danced many years and also spent numerous years on a competition team. Many times I would be teased for the way I looked and would be referred to as "the bigger girl" because I wasn't stick thin like all of the other girls. Unlike them, my body had begun to develop a little early. It got worse as I entered junior high and tried to survive my 7th, 8th, and 9th grade years. Along with poor self esteem, some complications arose when it came to my feelings about my body. As I entered high school, these feelings didn't go away, but heightened as the new pressure of dating was added to the mix. I wanted to make sure I always looked cute and that guys thought highly of me. Obviously, this is very hard for all teenagers to deal with, but I was not doing a great job of it at all. I remember specifically one day during my junior year, I was laying on the couch in our living room and my mom asked me if I was going to go to a party with my friends that I had been invited to. I told her I wasn't. She then continued to remind me that it had been months, if not a year since I went out with friends and had a good time. I had shut out my friends and would rather stay home and not do anything or see anyone. The next week we went to talk with a doctor and found out that I was battling with clinical depression and anxiety. My mom and I never really thought that this was a real phenomenon and wondered why people couldn't just "snap out of it". But now that I was facing it and we saw the influence it had over my life, we came to the realization that it is a horrible disease. It wasn't until I got to college and after having my ups and downs, I finally was able to find myself again. I went to church and learned that so many people love me outside of my family and my roommates. I got a job and was highly involved on campus and saw that I had a purpose and that I was valued. I was able to find the "happy Linsey" that my mom so desperately wanted me to find. However, my love of self didn't come easily, it came with a lot of hard work and by serving others.
Once I began to serve the people in my ward, my concept of self worth bursted to a new height and I truly began to understand the phrase that "I am a daughter of God" and I was able to see I was worth it. Ever since this newfound sense of self, I have stopped taking my medication for depression and anxiety and I feel that I have a better grip on my life and my emotions.

I want you all to know how amazing it feels when you truly love yourself and when you know that you are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Love in any form takes time. Be patient with yourself and with those around you. And when you are patient, wonderful things happen and fall into place the way that they are supposed to.

'Till next
     Linsey

I Thought I Understood It....

"I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn't, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn't realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me."

-Like Crazy

This is by far one of my favorite quotes when it comes to talking about love. At first you think that you can grasp what exactly love is and that it is an ideal idea and it's all stars and butterflies. But in reality, once you fall in love with the right person, you realize it is much more complex than you could ever imagine. You learn deep dark bits about yourself, and about the person you find love with. Love isn't perfect, and neither are the two players. You learn from trial and error how you deserve to be treated and who rightfully deserves to be with you.

**At night, I lay alone, in the darkness, thinking, dreaming, and remembering everything so vividly**

As we sat there on my couch, and me, entangled in his arms, we listened to the beating of hearts, the release of breath, and the pur of the fridge. We, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room. What was to happen in a matter of weeks when an entire ocean would separate us? The time that we spent laughing, joking, smiling and spending time with one another; it was real, but was it void? I asked him a foolish question that night that I believe will haunt me for the rest of my life and changed the course of our relationship. After I took him "home" and dropped him off, I drove home realizing that I had changed the way we would speak together.

After all the nights I spent alone after he left, the nights I cried to myself and the numerous times I recounted my story to friends with listening ears, I realized some of the most important truths about love. If you are in love with someone, they should make you feel confident in yourself, who you are (in all of your awkwardness) what you look like, what you dress like, and they should respect your beliefs even if they may not completely agree. The should love every inch of you. All of the stitches and all of the tears. All of your perfections and all of the imperfections. It wasn't until I met him that I realized what "being in love" should feel like and how I deserve to be treated. It's amazing how one experience can change the way that you look at things and how they affect us.

If he reads this, he may think I'm utterly crazy, or he may completely agree with me.

To you:

        I just have to say one thing and it's really important that you just listen to me. I just... It doesn't feel like this, this thing is gonna go away, it's always there. I can't... I can't get rid of it, but I will go on with my life.

**Another chapter in my life has now come to an end**

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?

 But if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it.

If you find it, please, seize it. Please.

I am Capable of More

Have you ever been asked the question "What quality do you like most about yourself?" For years, my response would be "My eyes", "my smile", or even "my personality". But I think after talking with my brother and thinking to myself, I believe that my answer has changed. I now want to be able to tell people that what I love about myself is my ability to "love unconditionally and connect with people" on a much deeper level than others can.

This week has been a long/hard struggle with balancing work, school, and my social life and I just needed to talk with my brother. He is my greatest confidant and I go to him whenever I am unsure of myself, need reassurance, advice, and just someone to listen to me. ( I don't know what I am going to do when he leaves on his mission ) Well, I called him last night asking his advice on a situation that I was caught up in and I felt insecure and unsure of what I thought or felt. He abruptly stopped my muttering and said to me "Linsey, you are capable of more than you can imagine. You love people for who they are and not what they have done. Not everyone can do that. You need to be there for people regardless of their situation." After I stopped and thought about it for a moment, I realized that he was correct. I do connect with people on a deeper level than most and I am able to relate to some of the things that we discuss. I've been bullied, made fun of, and at times felt that I am not worthy of anyone's love. I know what that feels like, and I can't imagine going all the way back to the hopeless feelings such as those. I also have an understanding that people are not perfect and I have no place to judge, that is our Heavenly Father's job, not ours. I may not know everything about every topic of church doctrine or even about life, but I have to rely on my faith and know that I what I am doing and how I am living is correct. Until I return with him someday, I have to rely on my unchanging faith. 

I shared something with my roommate the other night that I find is very fascinating about me and here it is... I honestly have no idea why I was supposed to go to Utah Valley University. I never had a desire to live in Utah County and I despised this place for the first few months that I lived here. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to go to Utah State University just like my parents. However, my senior year, we were at UVU for the state wrestling tournament and as I was walking around campus during one of the breaks, I had and undeniable feeling come to me that would not go away for the remainder of the tournament. The feeling/thought was "This is where you are supposed to go to school. Begin your registration." Once I knew that the thought wasn't just random but was an answer to many prayers, I broke down and cried in the middle of the hallway. I never wanted to come to school here. I didn't want to move to Provo. I wanted to live in Logan just like my parents. 

However, after living here during my second year, I have a really good idea of why I am here. I have met so many wonderful and colorful people here that I would have never have had the opportunity of meeting back in Clinton. I have had experiences here that I couldn't have had anywhere else. Even after wanting to serve a mission and praying about it multiple times and receiving the answer "not yet", I know that right now, my "mission" is to touch the lives of people here in Orem that others may not be able to reach. Also, by helping these people, I am strengthening my testimony and learning to rely on my own faith. In the past year and a half of living on my own, I've learned so much about myself and that I can do hard things. I've loved and lost, I've dealt with hard roommates, I became less active and found my way back, I've provided for myself, and I've learned how to love myself again and have never felt so sure of who I am and whose I am. 

I know that I am a daughter of a royal birthright and that I am capable of many things. I know that certain people are placed in our lives for a season or for the remainder of our earthly life for a reason. I know that I have talents that I may not know I have and I know that the talents I do have can be strengthened. I know that in this earthly life, we were given trials to overcome and with the help of our Father in Heaven, we can do so! How great will be the day when we return to Him and in His loving embrace he says "Well done. I'm proud of you." I cannot wait for that day. This gospel is true and I know it!! Have a happy Sunday everyone!

'till next

-Linsey 

It's been some time

It's been a while since I last posted. This semester just got crazy and a little out of hand. I switched my major again since the last time I wrote, but this time I'm sure it will stay. I've decided to become a communications major with an emphasis in public relations. I love people and building friendships, so what better way to educate myself than to get a degree in something I love!! I'm also still working three jobs in order to pay for my living here away from home. One of them involves me being employed by UVU and planning programs for the complex I am currently at. I love it! And yes, I am still the athletic photographer. 

Last semester, I learned a lot. A lot about myself, the gospel, what I am capable of, what I need to work on, and I also learned how to love. 

About myself, what can I say? I've come a full 180 degrees. This time las year, I was a less active member in my ward and was ready to move home. I needed a friend to reach out to me and reassure me that everything was going to be alright. It wasn't until I decided that I needed to go to church again for me and not because someone invited me. It all started with me deciding to go to our ward prayer for the first time, by myself. I remember sitting among other members in the ward and just feeling the love they had for one another. As I sat by myself, a member of the bishopric came up to me and asked my name and if I was new to the ward. I was mortified that he didn't know who I was and that I had not been active enough for him to know that I had been in the ward for five months. That's when I realized that I wasn't the same person I was when I first moved away to college. I knew things had to change. I began going to every church event I could, both so I could meet people and also so I could feel the Spirit so I could take the peaceful feeling with me as I entered my chaotic and demeaning apartment atmosphere. I soon became the ward prayer chair person and never missed a ward prayer, even if I had visited home, I would go back just for the prayer. I then got called as a relief society instructor. That for me, is honestly one of the most enjoyed callings I have served in. I guess what I am trying to get at, is I've changed a lot spiritually. However, I was talking with a young man today about why Sunday is my favorite day. And I told him " I get to recharge and think about what I can do differently the coming week that I didn't do the previous week". He wanted me to tell him what exactly helps me recharge, and I had to think about it, I still do, so when I have a more elaborate answer, I'll let y'all know. 

This semester I also learned a lot about love and how to love somebody. Yes, I do mean in the lovey-dovey way, but I also mean loving someone as Christ does. Let me start with the latter. I've recently worked really hard to look past things about people that may bother me and to see them as they truly are and treating them as I would like to be treated. I found that as I did this, I was much happier and pleased with not only my social life and how I was able to relate with so many different people, but I was happier and more confident with myself. I felt that by loving others, I was able to better love myself. Now, for the lovey part. Growing up, my friends would make fun of me for being too "boy crazy", and trust me, I think a lot of guys were cute. But I never knew what it was like to love somebody until a guy came into my life. Sure I said I "loved" the kid I kissed on the cheek in the first grade, or I "loved" the cute guy in middle school, or that I "loved" the kid from my home ward who I thought I was someday going to marry, or that I even "loved" a friend I'm writing as he's on his mission. After my experience with this last guy, that's when I really learned how to love, even if it was for only a month or two. One thing I learned was that love will find you when you least expect it. Up until this guy asked me out on a date, I hadn't been on a date for two years. I was nervous, but as we met up at the cafe, lets be real, I was still nervous. We ordered our food and sat down to talk. I learned so much about him and his life back home in Europe. And then the next thing I knew, we had been there for three hours and it was starting to get dark out. I had another  date planned, and I called the other guy and asked for a rain check because I was having so much fun with the guy I was sitting across from. We went back to my apt and hung out until midnight looking up things on the Internet and on YouTube to show each other "weird" things about our countries. At the end of the night, he gave me a hug, no kiss, nothing. And I was astonished. Astonished because he was so respectful of me. In the days to come we would see each other again and watch both Pride and Prejudice and West Side Story together. He exemplifies qualities that I look for in a guy. Respectful, honest, trustworthy, looked past my flaws, and loved me in all of my awkwardness. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that this wouldn't last, even if I thought we could make it work. One, he was leaving to go back to Europe after the end of the semester and two, he is not LDS and I didn't and still do not plan on marrying outside of the covenant. I know that while he was here he read the Book of Mormon and he was taking missionary discussions. I only hope that one day, he will find that the church is true and he will get to experience all the blessings that the gospel has brought into my life. I guess I understand the phrase "it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". As hard as it was the first few weeks, I'm glad I had the experience because I now have a better idea of how I deserve to be treated and the kind of man that I do want in my life. 

Man, this has been quite possibly the longest blog entry I've ever written. I have more thoughts, but I don't believe y'all could read much longer, so ill try and keep y'all updated with all the new things I am experiencing and the new friends I continue to make. Now, to entertain you with some photos!! 

'Till next

-Linsey 

I've got a pretty rocking roommate :) cyd and I at the multi stake Halloween dance

I got to work with some amazing people 

I took a drawing class and survived with a B+

I learned how to FaceTime with my favorite people! 

I'm in love with my family/brothers and am so grateful I know that I can be with them for eternity. I grow to love and appreciate them more and more each day. 

Lets be real, I have the best roommates!!

I got into the REC program at UVU and am thrilled to begin a new adventure. 

And most importantly, I've grown to love myself, who I am, what I look like, my capabilities, and even my flaws. I've learned to love myself and am beginning to see me the way that others do and the way that my Heavenly Father sees me. 

Making a House a Home

Man, it's sure been a long time since I've written. So much has happened!! I've moved to a new apartment because I am now a Community Ambassador at my complex. I have some wonderful roommates and I sure love them! I've had some amazing experiences that have truly shown me that we create the environment we want/need to live in. By hanging pictures of Christ and various other religious artwork, our home has a different feeling. I always feel safe when I come home to my place. Also, I know that by living the gospel and by going to church regularly, this also brings the Spirit into our home. It's been amazing! I know that I always want our place to feel safe so that people we know can come here as a haven and to know that they are protected. Just some random rambling, but I hope I got my point across. Anyway, here are some pictures of our cute apt. Enjoy!

 First off, this is my private room! It's a tad messy, but you get the jist. Because I am a Community Ambassador, my rent is paid for and I get my own room. *Note: that is a KING size bed!! my goodness

 I get both sides of the closet! More room for my clothes.

 This is the view you would see after walking in our main door. The Living Room and Kitchen. We are pretty dang good at decorating.

 Here is what our tiny kitchen looks like. It's small, but very functional.

Um, be jealous. This is the view from outside my bedroom window. I wake up to this everyday. It's beautiful. This is our courtyard where we hold the movie nights and where we will have our dance next week!

Finding Him...

Since it is now summer, if I am not working, I am not doing anything. So, I've dedicated a lot of this time trying to better myself by working on self confidence, reading my scriptures more regularly, and staying in touch with a lot of my friends back home and those on missions. Another thing I have spent a lot of time doing is watching a LOT of chick flicks. I love a good, romantic, love story. In fact, I know that someday I will have the opportunity to live my own "Happily Ever After."

“What we love determines what we seek. What we seek determines what we think and do. What we think and do determines who we are — and who we will become.” 
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

By watching these movies and meeting some amazing young men in the different organizations I am a part of, I have had the opportunity to reflect on my own ideas about marriage. Although I am not dating, why shouldn't I be able to think of this peculiar topic? Ha! Peculiar! Most girls dream of this day from a very young age, and a lot of girls already know a lot about the details they want for their own wedding! Here, I'll share some of mine. :)

I want my wedding dress to be slimmer fit, with three quarter length sleeves, a slight collar, and all lace. It is just so elegant, isn't it?!

And of course...for the ring...I was a vintage styled wedding ring. Somewhat like this... :) Beautiful, isn't it? 

Wouldn't this be a beautiful cake topper? And...it would be the start of my own Willow Tree collection!!

I think to go a long with my vintage wedding theme, this cake would go perfectly!

I used to want a fall wedding, but as of lately, I've decided that I want a spring or summer wedding. Therefore, I need to have springy colors right?! So, my colors will be peach, mint, and gray :) 

Wouldn't this make a perfect bridesmaid dress? 

Stylish refreshments!

I also like these gray dresses for bridesmaid dresses :) 

And...ofcourse...I want to get married in the temple :) 

As important as these kinds of plans are, the most important is my desire to get married in the temple and the process that it will take to get there. Ever since I was a young girl, I learned that the LDS temple was a place where people could go to get married and still be married after death. No other place than the temple could do this for couples. It wasn't until I got a little older and I learned how important marriage is and how sacred this covenant is that I decided for myself that this place is where I want to be married. Growing up as a young woman in the church, we were often asked to make a list of qualities that we wanted in a future husband. 

Many went as such:

-Blonde hair

-Blue eyes

-Returned Missionary

-Wants to be married in the temple

and of course...my favorite

-A british accent... :) 

Now that I am older, in college, and have dated a few different guys, I've learned what qualities I really do find important in a future spouse, and even those qualities I look for in the young men that I date. 

-A returned missionary is preferred

-A young man who loves me for all of my strengths and for all of my weaknesses. 

-Someone that I can talk to about anything and everything. We could stay up laying or sitting on the couch talking about our hopes, dreams, past, and desires. 

-Someone who has remained pure before marriage and will be able to give their all to me. 

-A man who honors his priesthood and has a desire to exercise the authority that he is blessed with. 

-someone who wants, and loves children. 

-And most importantly, a young man who is worthy to take me to the temple. 

Now, you have to understand...I have quite a few more qualifications on my list, but a blog is not a place to list all of them. I also recognize that I can't expect to find a young man fitting all of these qualifications if I am not preparing myself right now. I've always been taught that a good relationship and a celestial marriage begins way before the actual engagement. I need to make sure I am worthy and living the gospel fully before I can expect to get married or meet that special someone. 

I guess you could say these are a few thoughts that are running through my mind this late at night. I am so very grateful for the knowledge I have gained over my youth through conversations with my young women's group, my parents, friends, and even with some of my closest guy friends. I am so thankful for the opportunity to spend eternity with my best friend (whenever I find him), and to return to my Father in Heaven. This gospel is one of hope, growth, and an opportunity to show and express our desire to return to our Father by following his commandments, fulfilling our covenants, and bearing some of the hardest trials in our life. This is an amazing gospel and I know it to be true, and I have my own burning desire to become the best I can be and to return to my Father in Heaven and to His kingdom above. I KNOW that I am a daughter of royal birth and that I am His daughter. I matter, and I am of infinite worth. 

'Till next...

-Lins

I should be studying.....

I should be studying....but I have a lot on my mind... One of which involves me cleaning my room... Another is how on earth I am going to pay for a camera that is $1,300 and a lens that is the same amount as the camera... I have two sessions that I am scheduled to do when I go home next. This will help improve my photography skills, and earn money towards that camera. If any of you need seniors, missionary, family, or any other kinds of photos taken, let me know and I would be glad to do them. I will need to charge a small fee, but it's not much compared to all of the other photographers out there. Plus, you get ALL of the photos on a cd and they are released to you. Anyway, I am proud of my work, so I think I'll show off for a minute...

Alright, that's enough bragging for now. I've also been thinking a lot about my summer and how busy I am going to be!! Between working a part time job for Vivint and a part time job on campus as an Orientation Leader, I will also be a Community Ambassador for the complex that I live at!! I will be tremendously busy. But I know it will be worth it and those jobs are just a means to an end. Guess what!! I get to go on a trip to Disneyland with the other Orientation Leaders!! I am so excited to spend time with them and to get to know them better as well.

One last thing to talk about today, that I was supposed to talk about last week, is the one year anniversary since my grandmother passed away. On April 16, my Grandmother Petersen passed away unexpectedly. I remember the day so clearly and know that I will remember all the details for the rest of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I was closer to her than any of my other extended family. From the time I was a little kid until the final months of her life, she attended all of my events! These included my baptism, endless dance recitals, track meets, and choir concerts. She always lived within two streets of my house and I spend many afternoons in her house talking with her or out in the garden picking fruits and vegetables as we talked about the goings on at school and in my life. She was and still is an amazing example to me and the rest of my family. She was always so selfless and was willing to do anything for anyone. As a child, I had many headaches and other multiple health problems. Because mom was at work, I was able to call and ask Grandma to bring me some ibuprofen. Most of the time, she was able to do that for me. Another thing I remember is how strong she was in the gospel and how she lived the gospel. I hardly ever heard her utter an ill word toward anyone, and if she did, she was quick to apologize about it. She always read her scriptures and said her prayers. I remember her always talking about genealogy and how important it is to do it. I used to just shrug it off and try to get out of doing it with her because I would much rather play outside. Now I wish I would have spent time doing so.
I am so very grateful for the knowledge I have about life after death and how I know that we will be together again. I can't imagine what it is like to believe that death is the end; but I am grateful for what I have been taught. It's amazing to know that she is watching over me and to know that even though she may not physically be at my future events, she will be there spiritually. It's taken a year to get to the point that I am right now, and I know that I am still in the healing process. Coping with a loved one passing away doesn't happen overnight, but it takes years and even into the rest of a person's life. But I know that through the Atonement of Christ, we will be able to feel the peace and comfort that we need. We can't do this alone and we need our Savior's help. Ask him for comfort, for understanding, and for peace of mind. He will always answer.
Below I have added some pictures of my grandmother, her garden, and other memories I have of her. Enjoy.
Until next time
-Linsey

My cousin Julie, myself, and my grandma at Conference Breakfast

My grandma and great uncle Willie (her brother) 

All the siblings at the funeral 

Each family member put a flower on the casket

Part of my grandma's garden. 

This picture was taken a week before she passed away. This was the last picture that was taken with both of us in a picture together.