Updates, Work, & Love Life.....or lack thereof......

Man, it's hard to believe that we are almost through May! Where on earth has the time gone?! Well, this month has already seen a lot of ups and downs. On the plus, I got to take pictures for the WAC Track Championships held here at our UVU campus! It was pretty hard seeing that the day was long and physically draining. Also, my brother (Kaden) is extremely close to submitting his mission papers! I started working full time at Boostability, tried a summer class and quit the first day because it was so difficult. Saw my first huge paycheck from working full time and am completely satisfied. We said goodbye to a roommate that moved and welcomed the RA that's replacing me. There have been so many great and new people moving into our ward and I will be sad to leave them in August. I'm trying to workout more and become the best that I can be. And......Kaden graduates high school next week!! How crazy is that?!

Because I have a lot of friends that ask about this: Dating in Utah County, is still....hard. Whether you try to date members or non-members. I'm only 20 and if I had a dime for every time someone from back home asked me if I was dating anyone yet, I'd be rich. I've gone on many dates, but haven't "clicked" with someone enough that we saw more of each other.

I've learned a lot over the past few months of dating though. (Isn't it amazing the things you learn when you live on your own and make decisions for yourself?) You know that list we all made when we were younger? The list of traits we want in a future spouse or girl/boy friend? Yea, the one I still look at frequently. Well, I've learned that you can find someone with all of those traits, and yet you still wouldn't be truly happy with them and it may not work out. Instead, it's better to have a few basic qualities that are a must and then be open to all the others. Like, a few of mine that I have chosen are: 1) Must be a worthy priesthood holder and honors that privilege 2) Wants to get married in the temple and have a family. 3) Has completed or is working towards some form of higher education  4) Is financially stable, responsible, and debt free (except for student loans. Those are understandable) 5) Is willing to treat me as his equal and be my partner in crime for eternity. Dating in general is hard and it's not always going to be easy. It's important to stick to your values and what you believe to be right/true. The person you end up dating and marrying shouldn't make you feel like you have to compromise that belief system.

Along with dating and such, I had a pretty eye opening experience this past month worth sharing. Anyone who knows me, can tell you that I am a very religious person and I stand up for what I believe in, no matter what situation I may be in. It's never been hard for me to do. Well, there was this guy that I was trying to see and possibly date seriously, but I had a feeling it may not work because he is not LDS. He told me numerous times that he wanted to date a Mormon girl and convert. I would simply say to him each time that he needed to convert for himself and not for the girl because that relationship would be destined to fail. After spending numerous hours together that amounted to a week, someone had to talk about the elephant in the room. It was he who brought it up. He proceeded to tell me that night how much he liked me and wanted to make things work, but he wanted me to go home and think about it to make sure that it was what I wanted. Who was he kidding?! I did want it to work out! Or did I....? I didn't even seem to know. After talking with my roommate that night for about two hours, we decided that he wasn't the one for me and it would be best if we didn't pursue each other.  That was the plan. The next morning, I texted him and told him that I did want to be with him. To make sure we were clear when talking to eachother, we decided to talk about it in person. He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to be with me and how I'm a special girl and he wants things to work and yet again he told me that he wants to date a Mormon girl and convert, which I yet again proceeded to tell him that he has to convert for the right reasons. He then cut me off and rudely replied, "I don't want to hear any of your Mormon doctrine... you really are crazy" At that moment, I was beginning to loose interest. How could he speak like that to me. Before I could defend myself he continued to tell me that "You need to learn that there is much more to life than religion and God." I knew at that very moment that things weren't going to work out and that I needed to say one more thing before letting him go. He stood up to hug me and I pushed him away and replied, "Not for me. Religion and God is my life. My religion explains why I am living life here." I knew with everything in my being that I deserved so much better than what he had to offer. The last thing that he said to me was "You are never going to get anywhere in life with that attitude." As I watched him walk off, I wasn't mad. I didn't cry. Instead, I was sad for him. He used my religion as an excuse not to date me and couldn't see that I was trying to be open and understanding of him. While silently, he couldn't stand that I know exactly what I want/deserve from someone. Our paths have crossed a few times since then and it's been a little bit weird. I still care to be friends with him because I genuinely care about how he is doing.

If this post ever reaches him, I would want him to know that I do care for him and that I had the best time whenever I was with him because my insecurities seemed to go away. I'm not perfect, and I know that. I don't always say things eloquently, but I hope one day he can see and understand where I was coming from. I hope that one day he will find the gospel for himself and then he can see why it makes me so happy. I told him one of the first days we spent time together that I would want to help someone convert so that they can feel the same happiness I feel from the gospel and all of the blessings I have received. I hope that if you for some reason can't seem to believe what I do, I hope that you will come to respect me for the values and belief system I have. You don't need to agree with me, but I would ask that you would respect me as I respected you. And I hope one day you will find that special girl that will complete your life. Maybe, and just maybe, we could reconnect again.

It's been quite the month already and I know that there are many more lessons I will be learning with the connections I make with people on a daily basis. I'll keep ya'll updated with kaden and when he gets his call, my summer adventures, and the random life lessons I tend to learn ALL the time. Stick to your guns and never accept less than you deserve. Until next,

-Linsey

What Tinder Taught Me

It all started out with my roommate and I sitting in our living room one August night, bored out of our minds. We were sick of going to the hot tub, watching movies, going out to eat, or even just talking with one another. As we contemplated what we should do for the night, she asked me if I had heard of an app called "Tinder". She went on to explain to me that it was some sort of dating app that you can swipe right or left to people. After a few minutes of talking about how weird the concept was, we both turned on our phones and downloaded the app. We created a profile with a catchy tagline and cute photos. It started off with us just laughing at the weird looking guys, what pictures they had, and gushing over really attractive guys. Downloading the app began as a joke. 10 months later, it's not so much a joke anymore.

I've learned a lot about this app and using it for dating in the past ten months. I still use it on a daily basis and for dating reasons. I don't get asked out by guys at school or even in my ward. I don't often have guys make a pass at me, but this way, I've met so many more guys and have gone on so many more dates than if I wasn't on it. So, what have I learned? Well, here it is:

~Everyone has a "type" | meaning you like certain physical attributes and features of others. I always thought I was pretty open minded. False. I tend to like and "swipe" to blonde hair with blue eyes. Not always, but often.

~When it comes to this app, we are all very shallow | I used to read every tagline, but now I've found myself just swiping. If I think he's physically attractive, I like him. Shallow.... I know....

~There isn't an easy way to start a conversation with a complete stranger | honestly, a simple "hey" or "how are you doing" goes much farther than trying to drop a pick up line. Trust me. Boys/Men, consider actually looking at the girl's tagline and ask her questions about it. Spark conversation.

~If there are two guys in the main photo, chances are that the actual guy is going to be less attractive | been there, learned that. Swipe at your own discretion.

~Girls, if a guy messages you late at night, he's probably only wanting a hookup | use your common sense and listen to your instincts.

~You can meet someone from Tinder, and they wont kill you | people think that this app is really really sketchy, which, it can be. I've met 9 guys in those ten months and only 2 of the 9 were bad news, and I am still in contact with 4 of them.

~It seems like every guy in Utah County loves hitting the gym or being outdoors

~Guys, just because my profile says I love sports and I'm the athletic photographer for UVU, doesn't mean I have a rocking body or that I'll be your gym buddy, sorry | if I had a penny for every time a guy asked me how often I workout, I'd be rich.

~Tinder is an automatic ego boost | don't believe me? just wait until you "match" with someone...and he's very attractive. Even on my worst days, I feel better for a few seconds when I see a new notification.

~Tinder taught me to take chances | I met with guys I normally wouldn't give myself a chance with because I thought they were way too attractive for me. I also learned how to trust myself and if I felt comfortable with people and situations.

~Some of the guys you meet can become close friends | many of the guys I went on dates with were wonderful, but something was missing. So we often didn't want to pursue each other to date. Instead, we still kept in contact, texted, messaged, saw each other in person and established a friendship. These boys are some that I've gone to if I need dating advice or someone to talk to and visa versa.

~Tinder can be what you make of it | if you are looking for a hookup, you'll be finding all of the guys that just want to make out. If you are looking to date and possibly meet someone, then you will find them. It's the way that you portray yourself on your profile and the way that you talk with your matches on the app. Be smart with what details you post and be aware of the persona you are putting out there.

I think that Tinder is both a great thing and an evil thing. It's much like the internet. You can use it for good, or use it for evil. I know of couples that met on Tinder and I recently had a friend who just got married to a man she met on the app and they are some of the happiest people I know!

-Linsey