Love is in Action

Now before I go on my little tangent and tell ya'll my feelings about the title above, let me give you all a little update with pictures!!

 So we started the week off right by going to Applebee's on Tuesday for Karaoke Night! We had a blast and Dakota even got up and sang with our waiter Wes! I love it when we all are able to get together and have fun!

 Then on Wednesday, I was in my Interpersonal Communications class, we learned about self esteem and seeing ourselves in a positive light. On the left we were to wright flaws about ourselves that we see and even some names or things that people have said to us. Then, on the right we were to write positive things about ourselves. At first it was hard to find positive things to write, but then it got a lot easier and I was able to see that I am awesome and I am worth it and that I am capable of much more than I could imagine.

 Then on Friday, I was able to attend an info session at the Church Office Building in Salt Lake for an internship that I am applying for during the summer. It was really neat to think that I could work in the same building as the Prophet!! Anyway, keep me in your prayers because I would really love this internship and it would pay me while gaining great skills that will help me in the future. Plus, I would get to work in a really great environment.

 And of course, if you are at Temple Square, you have to take a picture by the temple!! (I'm going there someday by the way) And since I hadn't met up with my mom yet, it had to be a selfie (sorry)!!

 Sooooo while I was there I got to meet up with my mom and two of my brothers!! Oh how I love them and it was amazing to see them!! Ah! They make me homesick sometimes!

 And today, I got to hang out with my old roommates to watch the Super Bowel! It was so fun to hang out with them and catch up! This beaut is Emily and she was the one I actually shared a room with. Bless her heart, she was able to put up with me for a whole year.

 This picture isn't from this week, but allow me to introduce you all to Shane! He is the other photographer for UVU! He is pretty much the coolest/nicest guy you will ever meet!!

And lastly, here is the beginnings to a package that I am sending to one of my closest friends that is on a mission and is almost to his year mark! It's crazy how time flies by!!



Now, for the good part: Last Sunday while we were sitting in Sacrament Meeting, Erica (my roommate) leaned over to me and showed me her phone and said "You have to read this talk". I gave it a glance and didn't think about it again until today. I asked her what it was called and she pulled it up on her phone and let me read it during one of our meetings. After reading it, I thought how it would make a wonderful blog topic, so Ta-Da!! I give to you the inspiration for my blog post today: The talk was given by Marvin J Ashton in 1975 and it is titled "Love Takes Time" and I suggest you read it! I'm not going to go over a lot of the talk, but some of my favorite parts and how it has recently applied to my life. You can read the talk by going to this website http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1975/10/love-takes-time?lang=eng  .
So, have ya'll heard of the five love languages? Well, if not, it's how a person expresses their love for other people. The five languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. For me, my love languages in order are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and receiving gifts. By reviewing these five we learn that love is more than a hug or a kiss or words of affirmation: it is much more than that. During the duration of the talk, this is exactly what Marvin J Ashton is getting at and the two main principles that I took away from it were "Love is in Action" and "Love takes time", whether that be love for a friend, a family member, a member of the ward, anyone you come across, and even in a romantic relationship.

"Real love takes time, patience, help, and continuing performance" -Marvin J Ashton

Earlier this week, I came in contact with a young man that shared a lot of interests with me! We began to talk everyday and at a regular basis throughout the day. After a numerous days of talking with one another and developing a "friendship" I found myself beginning to "like" him, I mean he was LDS, a returned missionary, almost finished with school, attractive, witty and seemingly respectful. We ended up hanging out this weekend three consecutive days in a row and I felt that we had a lot of fun together! I feel that I can be my goofy, loud and obnoxious self when I was around him. I felt comfortable in my own skin and confident in myself and who I am, which is a big deal because I haven't really felt like that in a long time. Sure, I said the same thing in the last few blog posts, but this guy helped me see that it's okay to be weird and different than everyone else around. This weekend I was just floored with how respectful he was of me and how genuine he was in conversation and his actions. After seeing him for numerous hours the first two days, I got the opportunity to talk with my cousin on Saturday morning about him and she said exactly this to me, "He sounds wonderful, perfect almost. Keep seeing him and see where things could lead. However, be patient and don't rush into things. Don't ruin the friendship you have with him." As I pined over her words, part of me was like well if he likes me as much as I think I like him, why take things slow? And the other part of me agreed with her and could see her logic with taking things slowly.
So Saturday afternoon, I got the pleasure of seeing this guy for the third day in a row and we were able to talk about our concerns with one another. We were able to be clear and open when we both described our feelings for one another (seeing that they were very similar) and deciding that we are going to be friends first and that we want to take our romantic relationship slowly. When we came up with this compromise, part of me was really sad because I'm one to rush into things and I would completely want to be in a relationship with him! But as I drove home and thought about it, I genuinely like him as a friend and enjoy being with him. He makes me laugh and I want him in my life regardless if it is as a friend/or in a romantic relationship. (Although we all know how I hope it turns out). But this weekend, I surely learned that a relationship takes time and patience whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship.

"Love of God takes time. Love of family takes time. Love of country takes time. Love of neighbor takes time. Love of companion takes time. Love in courtship takes time. Love of self takes time."
 -Marvin J Ashton

As you can see from the quote above, any kind of love takes time. But more specifically, I would like to talk about the last one: love of self. I feel that as a kid, I had really high self esteem and accepted myself for who I was. However, that surely faded by the time I hit 6th grade. I danced many years and also spent numerous years on a competition team. Many times I would be teased for the way I looked and would be referred to as "the bigger girl" because I wasn't stick thin like all of the other girls. Unlike them, my body had begun to develop a little early. It got worse as I entered junior high and tried to survive my 7th, 8th, and 9th grade years. Along with poor self esteem, some complications arose when it came to my feelings about my body. As I entered high school, these feelings didn't go away, but heightened as the new pressure of dating was added to the mix. I wanted to make sure I always looked cute and that guys thought highly of me. Obviously, this is very hard for all teenagers to deal with, but I was not doing a great job of it at all. I remember specifically one day during my junior year, I was laying on the couch in our living room and my mom asked me if I was going to go to a party with my friends that I had been invited to. I told her I wasn't. She then continued to remind me that it had been months, if not a year since I went out with friends and had a good time. I had shut out my friends and would rather stay home and not do anything or see anyone. The next week we went to talk with a doctor and found out that I was battling with clinical depression and anxiety. My mom and I never really thought that this was a real phenomenon and wondered why people couldn't just "snap out of it". But now that I was facing it and we saw the influence it had over my life, we came to the realization that it is a horrible disease. It wasn't until I got to college and after having my ups and downs, I finally was able to find myself again. I went to church and learned that so many people love me outside of my family and my roommates. I got a job and was highly involved on campus and saw that I had a purpose and that I was valued. I was able to find the "happy Linsey" that my mom so desperately wanted me to find. However, my love of self didn't come easily, it came with a lot of hard work and by serving others.
Once I began to serve the people in my ward, my concept of self worth bursted to a new height and I truly began to understand the phrase that "I am a daughter of God" and I was able to see I was worth it. Ever since this newfound sense of self, I have stopped taking my medication for depression and anxiety and I feel that I have a better grip on my life and my emotions.

I want you all to know how amazing it feels when you truly love yourself and when you know that you are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Love in any form takes time. Be patient with yourself and with those around you. And when you are patient, wonderful things happen and fall into place the way that they are supposed to.

'Till next
     Linsey